Micco Caporale

Eight Ways to a Better Body Relationship

01. Ditch the scale .

The scale can’t account for your height, your build, or your water retention. Most scales can’t accurately account for body fat either, so the number you see is an arbitrary summation of gravity’s force against your body … and that’s it. The number is so arbitrary that it can change five to ten pounds over the course of one day. While weight can be somewhat of an indicator of health, it’s a poor indicator—totally trumped by your heart rate, blood pressure, athletic prowess and cholesterol score. Weight is used to calculate BMI, but the BMI is bogus. Just ditch the scale and move on with your life.

02. Focus on what your body can do, not what it can’t.

There’s always room for more: more money, more friends, more project time, more living space. When we focus on what we don’t have, we live for the future instead of today. It’s one thing to have desires and goals, it’s another to take things for granted — or worse, to lament the good things in life. Do you have good health? Can you lift a lot of weight? Run a lot of miles? Do back flips off diving boards, or build tree houses on high limbs? What has your body done for you lately?

03. Stop talking about other people’s weight.

As Ghandi would say, “Be the change you want to see” — which means, if you wouldn’t want someone commenting on your weight, don’t comment on theirs. You have no idea why a person weighs what she or he weighs, so empathize instead of criticize. Eventually, that empathy will extend to your own weight.

04. Celebrate success.

What have you accomplished in your life? Did your weight have any bearing on those accomplishments? What have people you admire accomplished? Did their weight influence those accomplishments?

05. Do something both fun and physically active on the regular.

Studies show that exercise improves body image even if exercisers never lose a pound. This may be because exercise produces the endorphins and because exercise can lead to better sleep, which means an increase in mental acuity and sense of wellness. Exercise also improves the immune system, regulates appetite, prevents muscle loss and increases bone density. The reasons to exercise are endless, but if you think of exercise as a way to punish or manipulate your body, you’ll never enjoy doing it.

06. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable — both physically and emotionally.

If you wear clothes that are always too tight/too short/too whatever, you’ll always be thinking about your body. If you wear clothes that make you feel self conscious, you’ll always be thinking about your body. Be confident in the image you project, but be comfortable in the clothes dressing up that image.

07. Live your life like your weight doesn’t matter.

… because, for the most part, it doesn’t. Ever catch yourself saying: “If I weighed less, I would … ” Yes, we’re back to that idea that there’s always room for change — the problem again being, change takes time. What are we doing now? There’s a million things we could do in the future, might do in the future, possibly won’t do in the future. Why can’t we seize the moment and go for it now? Meet the people you want to meet. Date the people you want to date. Wear the clothes you want to wear. Work toward athletic goals independent of pounds and inches. Essentially: carry yourself with the confidence you’d have if you were already your “ideal” weight and the rest of your life will fall into place. If you live your life like your weight doesn’t matter, eventually your weight will matter a whole lot less.

08. Talk to yourself the way you’d talk to a friend.

Would you ever tell a friend his or her butt looked like jello scotch-taped to two boards? Then why are you telling yourself that? Stop the negative self talk. When you look in the mirror, when you get dressed for school, when you sit down to meals — don’t berate yourself. Focus on your positive physical characteristics, or better yet, focus on your amazing non-physical characteristics. More likely than not, you’re exaggerating your body’s flaws. Assuming for a second that you’re not, who really cares? Would you ever admit to a professor or employer that you think you have a jello behind? No, because it’s silly talk. So show your body the same kindness you’d show your best friend, and stop mentally shredding it.